We have a brand new updated website! Click here to check it out!

Morning Funnies: From The Adventures of Gregg and BJ

Hot dog makers Oscar Mayer and Ball Park are in federal court where a judge will determine whether either company broke false-advertising laws. Their CEO’s are a bunch of lying wieners.

Woodstock entered its second day of the three-day festival on this day back in 1969. Today, if you want to see naked people getting dirty and playing bongos, you have to hang out with Matthew McConaughey.

Dennis Rodman was inducted into the NBA Hall of Fame over the weekend and gave a very emotional and tearful speech. He cried so much that the tears rusted his dozens of face piercings.

Mike Myers is said to be making another Austin Powers movie. Producers hope to be able to lure Verne Troyer away from his very busy career as a garden gnome to reprise his role as Mini Me.

The city of Chicago is using a truck called “the pothole killer” which uses a mechanical arm to plug potholes with a new type of asphalt-patching material. It’s the same machine and substance that’s used to patch up Heidi Montag.

A Japanese company claims to have created a new machine that can convert used adult diapers into biofuel. I can’t wait to pull up to a Shell station and fill up my truck with Supreme Unleaded Depends.

Lady Gaga will be creating a Christmas window for Barney’s in New York that will be a re-imagined Santa’s workshop in the singer’s style. Expect naked elves making Meat-Dress Barbies.

The New York City area rules when it comes to a new list of top public transit cities. New York City also came out on top in the list of public transit with the most street-crazies, as well as the public transit that most smells of urine.

Husband of ‘Real Housewives’ star Armstrong dies

Russell and Taylor Armstrong

LOS ANGELES (AP) – The estranged husband of “Real Housewives of Beverly Hills” star Taylor Armstrong has been found dead in his Los Angeles home. Los Angeles County coroner’s spokesman Ed Winter says 47-year-old Russell Armstrong was pronounced dead at 8:16 p.m. Monday in a home on Mulholland Drive.  Death was caused by hanging and Winter says a suicide note hasn’t been found.  Russell Armstrong was an investment banker and venture capitalist. His publicist, Rebekah Iliff, says he’s the founding managing director of Crescent Financial Partners. She also confirms Armstrong and his wife were in the midst of a divorce. The death was first reported by TMZ.com.

Buffalo Bill ranch park aims to reopen soon

Scout's Rest Ranch Barn

NORTH PLATTE, Neb. (AP) – Work has begun to reopen Buffalo Bill Ranch State Historical Park and its recreation area. The area was closed in early June because of potential flooding from the North Platte River. It was feared river floodwaters would spill over into Scout Creek, which runs through the park. On Monday morning, workers began removing berms surrounding Buffalo Bill’s historic mansion, barn and outbuildings. Park superintendent Aric Riggins says he hated turning away people. He estimated the park lost more 20,000 visitors and $25,000-$30,000 in income. Riggins says he’s certain the whole park will be reopened by next week.

York County can’t confirm 2 more cougar sightings

YORK, Neb. (AP) – York County authorities have been unable to confirm two more reported sightings of cougars in the area. The York News-Times says that two reports were made Sunday by people in different areas of the county. One call came into the Sheriff’s Department a little after 10:15 a.m. Sunday from someone northeast of Waco. The second report was made a little before 10 p.m. from someone who lives near Henderson. Sheriff Dale Radcliff says neither report was confirmed. Cougars, which also are called mountain lions or pumas, have turned up as far east in Nebraska as Omaha. There were at least four unconfirmed cougar reports during June in York County. To the west in Grand Island, someone reported a cougar in a backyard last week.

Copyright Eagle Radio | FCC Public Files | EEO Public File