By Kris Allen
FLORIDA (NORTH PLATTE POST)- Suddenly reports, stories and absolutely bizarre sightings of the “zombie apocalypse” have been sparking interest on a global scale, and news to you it’s not over yet!
The latest zombie action happened just days ago in Florida. Early Saturday morning the Florida family was greeted by 22 year old Jeremiah Haughee absolutely stark naked on the roof of their home after first destroying their patio furniture.
Police responded to the call at 4:30 AM, upon arrival two men that live at the home were restraining the hell-raising man who was also covered in urine. The two men, father and son of the home while attempting to subdue the man, he ran into their home, urinated on the floor then his inner zombie came out, he took a bite out of one of the man’s stomach.
The madness doesn’t stop there. It took five police officers to restrain Haughee. The naked mad man put up quite a fight despite the fact that he was hand cuffed, fell off the roof and tasered multiple times. Haughee took another tasty bite out of an officers leg, then got a hood wrapped over his head, then his legs shackeled, then officers knocked him out with tranquilizer.
The stomach bite one of the house residents received will leave him permanently disfigured.
Somewhere along the line McGruf the crime stopping dog’s phrase “Take a Bite Out of Crime” got taken a bit too literal, and wrong.
Haughee was released later on $32,000 bail and is charged with five counts of battery…three of those against a police officer.
Seems like all zombie-like stories share these qualities:
- Super-human like strength and endurance.
- Nudity.
- Flesh eating.
- Drugs.
In this case it is yet to be released whether or not Haughee was on the popular Bath Salt drug.
In all honesty who wants to fight a naked man? Drugs are not the answer!
